LeBron James Is Also Too Good at Dressing

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We all know LeBron James is too good at basketball. However, not many people recognize that this athletic and precocious individual is also a fashion maven. Or at least he should be considered one. Over the past two years in particular, LeBron has shown some truly amazing skills at putting together outfits. What makes this all the more impressive, is what most professional athletes pass off as style.

Remember when I punched Steve Kerr in the face?  I also slept with his wife that night.

Remember when I punched Steve Kerr in the face? I also slept with his wife that night.

Before we get into what makes LeBron so good, let’s check out what makes everyone else so mediocre. The number to your left, Jordan’s Hall of Fame acceptance suit (only slightly less tacky than his Hall of Fame acceptance speech) is the style of suit worn by today’s modern professional athlete, and the retired ditto-heads that blather away endlessly on Sportscenter. This shiny, four-button number sports teeny-tiny lapels, little creatively, imagination, or uniqueness, and for that final touch, makes you look like Zippy the Pinhead. It’s the kind of clothing option only a filthy rich person would choose, because it’s extremely expensive, and makes you look like a complete ass at the same time.

If they had a child, surely it would rule the Earth.

If they had a child, surely it would rule the Earth.

Now let’s take a look at how LeBron breaks the fashion mold, when he’s not breaking down defenders. Here we see LeBron at a Gucci event along side Serena Williams. First of all, you can see that LeBron is NOT wearing a suit. This is important, because it means he actually put some clothes TOGETHER. They didn’t come together the way they do in a suit. There’s a thought process here. He had to decide what to wear in combination. And LeBron looks great. The matching pants and tie are accentuated nicely by the texture of the button-up sweater. It’s a classy look that even manages to overcome those glasses he’s wearing for some reason. He’s got that great mix of formal, yet casual and approachable, which is a must when you’re an unapproachably hulking mass of humanity like he is.

No, I understand your adoration.  It's commendable.

No, I understand your adoration. It's commendable.

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “Hey, Jerk, someone from Gucci GAVE LeBron those clothes.” I dunno. I don’t really get invited to those types of things. I do know this, though, LeBron looks stylish coming into the arena, too. Here we see LeBron with . . . what must be his Carlton. We also see LeBron wearing a nice looking two-button jacket, with an extra long scarf, and some spectacular shades. Again, LeBron is playfully mixing formal with casual, pulling of a signature look of which even Tim Gunn would be proud.

Humans!  I accept your pitiful award.

Humans! I accept your pitiful award.

This final image shows LeBron at his most fashion-forward. LeBron is shown here receiving his award for Outstanding Excellence in the Field of Achievement. Really, I don’t know what to say about the suit-pants combined with the tuxedo shirt, which is wide open and sporting a mat white front. I dunno what to say about the shades, or the giant chunk of jewelery on his pinky. I do know this. The whole thing looks cool put together. Any one of those items on their own could look terrible. But put together around Lebron, they are cohesive (remind you of a certain team in Cleveland?). It works. And that’s what fashion is all about. Finding that perfect combination that looks right on you.

So next time you’re out shopping for some clothes to impressive a nice young guy or gal, to wear to the office, or to take your sweetums out with, remember, put that lame-ass suit away, and put together an outfit that says, “Hey, this is me.” You might not be able to dunk. You might not be filthy rich. But dammit, you can always look good.

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3 Responses to “LeBron James Is Also Too Good at Dressing”

  1. Alison Says:

    I totally dig LeBron’s Ira Glass meets Horace Grant glasses.

  2. jpalumbo Says:

    How’s LeBron going to join the NBA League of Evil without an expensive suit? The villainous Professor Pat Riley and the nefarious Michael Murderface Murderface Murderface Jordan would never allow it. Kobe’s got a closet full of great suits.

  3. Jeanne Kammerzell Says:

    Serena Williams is tough…she makes her first round opponent go quietly at wimbledon

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