Margarita Friday

by

F all ya’ll that think the Celtics are washed up and done.  I’ve got four alcohol-infused reasons that Boston can win the title… MFers!  Good god do I hate you.

Reason #1) Nobody is really all that good.  Seriously, look at the league.  Chicago?  They’ve got ONE option on offense, and his name isn’t Jordan, and he shoots 44% from the field.  Hoo=f’n=rah.  Miami – It’s great that Wade and LeBron are both efficient, but can they both DOMINATE at the same time?  Sounds impossible.  Good-f’n luck relying on Chalmers and Bibby to make the winning plays to beat the venerated defending Eastern Conference champs, a$$holes.  LA couldn’t be playing any worse, and only an injury to Byrant would be worse than an injury to Bynum at this point.  Fisher-Bryant-Artest-Odom-Gasol is not better than Rondo-Allen-Pierce-Green-Garnett.  Lakers fans can also eat it.

Reason #2) Garnett can jump.  Last year it looked like KG was saving himself for the playoffs, but in reality, he was just miles away from healthy.  Not true this year.  KG has lift.  He CAN be active.  That makes him DANGEROUS.  You know why?  Cause Kevin Garnett has the talent to be the greatest player in the league in any given game.  If he should pull that off during a playoff game, that’s a Boston win no matter whose court it happens on.  Nobody else has what it takes to pull off 25-10-5-3-1 with LOCKDOWN defense and intimidation.  It’s DREAM 2.1.

Reason #3) Ray muthahf’n Allen, you short-sighted f#@&!  You heard of him?  He’s made more threes than any other player in the history of the NBA, and he’s having one of his most efficient seasons ever.  He’ll win a game all by himself.  How you gonna beat BOSTON when you’re giving up one game out of four right off the bat?  Unless you’re the 2o10 Lakers, you’re not getting a 20 free throw advantage, so you also can b^te me.

Reason #4) Depth.  Delonte West, Jeff Green, Glenn Davis, and Nene Kristic were all starters for much of last year and for many of them much of this year.  For these Celtics, they are ALL bench players.  How many other teams bring 4 starters off the pine and start (by +/-) the best 5 in the league?  I’ll help.  Nobody.  So essentially you’ve got 4 all=stars and the best 4 man bench in the league to deal with over the course of 7 games.  Oh, and championship experience to boot.  Again, good f’n luck.

And that’s my pre-playoff rant.  I should mention that I’ve had 3 decent margaritas, and I’m listening to Lupe Fiasco’s “Lazers” as I write this.  My readers deserve the full story.  But I’ll be pulling for the Celtics with all my heart, and I KNOW they have what it takes to make it. They may not do it, but the above 4 illustrate the structure of my hope, wobbly and unsure as it may be.

Bring it Knicks.  It’s on.  Step up to the GAME.

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6 Responses to “Margarita Friday”

  1. pmadavi Says:

    They make ’em strong on The Island! Ask for a little ice next time! Damn! You guys are bust in the second round. Start rooting for that Pedroia jerk.

    Oh, and I’m busting out my Ewing jersey on Sunday. VOOOODOOOO

  2. pmadavi Says:

    Also, Gonad Kristic stinks and Delonte is hurt. So, point 4 is off the table. The Knicks suck, and are going to lose (still rooting for them) – but at least I’m keepin’ it real, (Joel Anthony) Son!

  3. jpalumbo Says:

    Your Ewing jersey may help the Magic against the Bulls, but it will have no say against the MAJESTY of the 18 time champion Boston Celtics. Punk.

    Miami’s all-time greats have exactly as many finals MVPs as Paul Pierce. And Garnett and Allen both played better than the Truth in ’08. We’re coming for your boyz, PM. Who’s gonna save their soft, pampered butts? Joel? The producers of their cell-phone commercials? You think they got the Jordan-juice to beat the best? Pfft! It’s ON!

  4. pmadavi Says:

    We’ve got Tracey Morgan. You’ve got Affleck.

    Game.

    Set.

    Match.

    • jpalumbo Says:

      We’ve got Marky Mark and Jason Bourne, also Sam, Diane, Norm, Coach, Woody, and the rest of the gang of barflies.

      Jason Palumbo

      Sent from my iPhone

  5. High Above Courtside Says:

    “Either light up or leave me alone.” Jim Capaldi of Traffic

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