ECF 2012 Game 5 – Tequila / Sangria / Whiskey Post


Live blog, fellahs! It’s on! Its 24-13 in favor of Miami near the end of the 1st quarter, and I’m just getting eyes on the game. Wife and I had a trip to a very nice Mexican place prior to the game. A little Chris Isaac music, and now I’m ready to do it.

Quick run by Paul Pierce, and the score is down to 24-16. LeBron dribbling. Dribbling. Dribbling. Passes it to Miller for a miss to end the first. Good dribbling though (loser). ESPN gives a quick recap which includes Bosh screaming. Bosh has a good scream face. I’m not saying I wanna be friends with it, but you know, I wouldn’t kick it out of my locker room either if you know what I mean. Know what I mean?

I want bourbon. I want scotch. I want beer.

At the end of the first quarter the run down is 8 point lead for Miami, 3.5 margaritas (on the rocks, no salt), 3 glasses of sangria, and running mix of whiskey and ice for me. I have Chris Isaac’s classic love ballad, “Two Hearts” blasting in my head, and I have one blessing to ask of the gods of roundball – please Basketball Jesus and all your saints and apostles, inspire Kevin Garnett to have a big scoring game. Imbue him with a desire to dominate the paint and score points in the low post. To you I offer this prayer.

Celts are 6 for 23, and KG is missing easy shots in the paint. Meanwhile LeBron is killing it from everywhere. Pierce gets inside, scores, is called for an offensive foul while bumping into Miller who is in the restricted area. We call that an AND 1. The refs call it an offensive foul (which by the way Miller hit Pierce sideways which is a defensive foul anyway), so turnover Boston. Luckily Miami goes to Wade who is not himself, and he misses. Is Wade injured and nobody will tell us? Allen comes back and draws the defensive foul. JVG is calling for the restricted area to be expanded to the free throw circle. Good idea.

F’n LeBron just hit a 3. He’s got 14 points 3 minutes into the 2nd quarter. Best player in the NBA without a doubt. By far. Not close. Ray Allen just blocked a shot!!! Somebody dust off the stat sheet, because that has to be his first blocked shot in the last three years. Up yours Norris Cole.

Boston in a zone here. Odd to watch. Heat look confused. Chalmers misses a long one. Boston role players can’t make a shot either. Rondo just beat a double team, drew a foul that wasn’t called, got an offensive rebound and one-touched it into the hoop with his left hand. God, I love him. (The whiskey is Buffalo Trace). Boston down 8 again.

Mio energy drink is stupid. Their commercials with the cartoon animals make me want to do bad things to good people. Don’t buy their dumb product.

Doc Rivers is already losing his voice.

Pietrus hasn’t turned down a shot yet, and he also hasn’t made a shot yet. He might want to rethink one of those things. He did get a steal that led to Ray ray catching a foul while shooting a trey though, and that’s the kind of thing that everybody can enjoy. Ray cuts the lead down to 5. Cause he makes free throws. Cause they’re free.

KG just got called for defensive 3 seconds. I hate both defensive and offensive three second calls. They are called sporadically at best. Giving a team an extra point or an extra possession on one out of every 17 possible 3 second violations is not the intent of the rule.

Holy shizzzzzzNITE! Wade just got called for a reach-in foul trying to steal a rebound from Garnett and catching him with a hack to the arm. Somebody remind me to put this moment in my diary! LeBron hits another ridiculous bank shot. He’s the best. I mean, far and away. He’s like if Shawn Kemp and Deron Williams got smushed into one gestalt being by an anime villain named Mojin buu. Remember when I was a Bulls fan, and the best player in the league was Muh Boy? Those were the days. These days on the other hand, are not so “the”.

KG sat down. Let’s watch the Miami lead expand, shall we? First play, and Pierce picks up a foul rotating to deal with Bosh on the offensive boards. That’s 2 on Pierce (recall that his first was on a charge against Mike Miller while Miller was in the restricted zone, a definitively wrong call – let’s keep track before he fouls out again, yes?). Pietrus just missed a dunk off a perfect feed from Rondo. Bass commits a kicked ball, an offensive foul, and gets a dunk off a Rondo feed. We needed that series of blind ref assistance. Bosh with another offensive board put back score at the other end. Heat maintain the 8 point lead.

Wade does a rodeo around the back dribble ,jumps into Pietrus’s set leg, and falls down. Foul on Pietrus. I guess that’s the right call, but it’s odd that a defender can be totally stationary and commit a foul. Foul leads to nothing. Lead down to four. LeBron means to fix that. Backs down Rondo. Draws a double. Hits Miller for a missed 3. KG blocks Bron after the offensive board, comes down gets an offensive rebound of his own on a Rondo miss and is fouled for the AND 1. Lead down to 2. God damn do I love Kevin Garnett! That is the Big Ticket Kid Man-Child right there! All praise to Larry Bird and the basketball gods!

I love being married, but my TV is inexplicably recording the Design Star while I watch this show.

Come on! Don’t offend the basketball gods with that nonsense! See that! KG missed his free throw and got called for a foul on LeBron. I don’t think he touched him, but LeBron said unto me, “Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother’s keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy My brothers. And you will know My name is the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon thee.”

Celtics shooting 33% from the field only trail by 4 points. Is that a good sign or a bad sign? I’ve consulted the bones, and they say, “Forecast inconclusive. Try again later.” Friggin’ bones. Brandon Bass just got two offensive rebounds in four seconds and dunked the damn ball like a true playah. 2 point game. So endeth the first half. Miami 42. Boston 40. Let it be written.

NBA has a commercial commemorating the glory of the champion banner narrated by Larry Bird. That reminds me of Larry Bird. Remember how insanely great he was? Damn. Let’s look at his numbers real quick. Career per game averages of 24 points, 10 rebounds, 6 assists – 50%, 38%, 89%. Other players suck so goddamn bad. Oh, LeBron is so great… unless the refs put the whistles away. Larry Legend could make a goddamn shot no matter what the refs had to say about it. And you know who passed better than Larry? NoF’nBuddy. He could bounce it full court to a Smurf, and hit that little blue cuss in the hands. In its tiny, fat, white-gloved hands. (Psst… Halftime S-U-C-K-S on E-S-P-N [ssshh, don’t tell anyone]).

Bosh is the rated PG, made-for-TV, version of Garnett. He’s got 9 points and 6 boards in the first half. If he duplicates that in the 2nd half, the Cs are F’d in the proverbial A.

Ah yeah! The Gatorade Michael Jordan flu game commercial. Do you, can you, know how good he was? No. You can’t. Don’t feel bad. There’s no stopping what can’t be stopped, no killing what can’t be killed. It isn’t your fault. Did the Bulls beat your team? It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. No. No listen. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault.

Pierce fouled on the opening possession of the 2nd half. No call. Wade scores at the other end. 4 point Heat lead. Should be tied. I hate this game. Rondo cuts it to two. Wade dribbled towards Allen. THAT’s a foul on Allen when they’re in Miami. Let’s get Wade to the line. Did I mention how much I hate this game? Lead to 3. KG slips a screen and Rondo hits him for a dunk. Rondo is far and away the best passer in the league. On the next possession, Garnett takes 10 seconds with the ball in the post before he decides to shoot over LeBron. Is it any wonder he missed badly? How can a guy with as much skill as him be as bad as he is in the post?

AH! DAMN! I thought they called Wade for a foul on a block attempt after KG slipped another pick and roll. They called in on Battier though. So close! KG 1 of 2 at the line. Miami by 1. Wade hits a runner off a feed from Bron. Heat by 3. On the other end Pierce gets inside off a post up spin on Wade, draws a foul that didn’t seem to happen, and makes the layup. Game tied at 48-48. Boston back to the zone defense. Chalmers hits a nice bank off a broken play. When he drives, he’s effective. KG hits a pick and pop jumper to even it again. He’s so good! Bron gets inside, gets his own board, and scores. Miami with a quick runout. Miami up by four. Rondo with a back court violation. Goddamnit.

These guys are just bad at basketball. We don’t stand any chance like this. F’n Battier hits a three. A tie game is now a 7 point Miami lead off nothing but stupidity and BS. Basketball is an abomination against the gods. Are the Kings and Devils on somewhere? Just kidding. If I turn away it will be to watch American Ninja Warrior. A REAL sport.

Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter is the best idea for a movie since Sky Ape, a gorilla with a jetpack.

Boston runs a nice play that leads to a missed bunny by Bass. Heat immediately score on a lucky bounce by Haslem. James just picked up his first foul of the game and had a conniption. The Heat are SO favored by the refs that it’s disgusting when they whine. It’s worse than the Tim Duncan face. Whew! Bron just bailed out the Celts with an unnecessary missed jumper after getting Steisma on the switch. Pierce scores at the other end on the step back. 5 point game. If you can force Wade and LeBron to shoot jumpers beyond 12 feet, you can beat the Heat. Pardon me. I require a re-fill and maybe a KitKat bar.

I come back and Bass picks up an offensive foul for doing NOTHING at all and a technical for slamming the ball. This is 5 Celtics vs. 5 Heat + 3 Refs and it’s ready to blow up on Boston. But… it doesn’t…

Rondo just manufactured a bucket for Steisma off a pick and roll. Not easy. Best passer in the league. Stocktoneque. Norris Cole trips over his feet. Foul on the closest Celtic (Dooling). James whining for another call allows Boston a delayed break where KG gets a throwdown AND 1 off a Rondo assist. Makes the free throw. Tied at 60. Miller just leveled Pietrus going for an offensive board. No foul but Boston ball out of bounds. Pietrus makes a jumper. Boston takes their first lead at 62-60. Heat haven’t made a FG in 5 minutes. Dooling hits a three on a kick out from Pierce, and Boston takes a 5 point lead into the fourth quarter! If Boston wins this game, they will take the series. Book it.

Robin Thicke in a bizarre commercial with a bunch of lovely models that makes me oddly thirsty. Refill.

Start 4th Quarter: Boston 65 Miami 60. 12 minutes to go. Immediate layup by Wade cuts it to 3. Rondo misses a layup at the other end. Pierce nails a 3. He’s a good, good player. Haslem catches a rebound out of bounds and gets the possession… not sure how that works. James Jones hits a three off the new possession though. Huh. I’ll have to check the rule on that. KG hits a 19 footer on the pick and pop w/ Rondo. That’s a Euro three pointer. LeBron drives with no intent to actually score and draws the foul. Makes both shots. 3 point game. KG picks up an absolute travesty of an offensive foul on a total flop by the rookie Cole. Flops are ruining this sport. G4TV, I’ll be with you and your would-be ninja warriors soon. Wade scores after a flurry of BS. 5 on 8 is very difficult for the away team to win. You’ve got to get the occasional 50/50 call to go your way.

This reminds me of an argument I had years ago on a basketball message board. Someone was telling me that the 2007 Spurs would beat the 1996 Bulls because Parker was the type of guard Chicago had trouble with and Duncan was too big for Rodman. My retort? San Antonio’s go-to play to score in the clutch was Manu running into his defender and falling to the ground in spasms as though killed by a thousand simultaneous scorpion stings. Try that against Michael Jordan and see if you get the foul called. Boston needs a super-duper-star to get a call right about now.

Off the timeout, Rondo and KG run a fake pick and roll that leads to an easy lob dunk for KG. LeBron answers at the other end. Frankly he warded off KG, but not bad enough where I’d call it a bad no call. Bron hits a 3 on the ensuing possession to put Miami up 2. He’s so F’n good. Kobe and I hate him. Durant too. We all hate him and his bulldozer power coupled with his Ferrari agility. Pietrus gets a steal. Fouled about 12 times by LeBron and Wade. Jump ball. I hate this goddamn sport. I hope the NBA gets disbanded and we have to watch FIBA ball with their screwed up trapezoid lane and 10′ three point line. Oh, FOUL on Rondo. Thank GOD they don’t call fouls on the HEAT stars. THERE ARE NO, N-O, 0, ZILCH FOULS ON MIAMI HALF WAY THROUGH THE FOURTH QUARTER. I HATE THIS HOMEJOB BS LEAGUE. JUST SEND MIAMI TO THE FINALS IF THAT’S THE PLAN. WHY DO I HAVE TO WATCH THE GAME? IT’S POINTLESS. I HATE THIS.

Mike Breen is very proud of the Heat for scoring 7 straight while getting every call and no-call in the quarter. He thinks they’re just super. Wade with a diving layup and then a ridiculous blocked shot. Maybe he’s not injured after all. Pietrus winds up hitting a three off a broken play. Ray misses a wide open three. Brutal. He needs to hit those because Boston may not see the free throw line again in this game. This is why you don’t close your eyes and ignore the regular season Boston. So you have homecourt calls when you NEED them.

Uh oh. Dreamworks Madagascar movie preview just put Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing” in my head. That’s not a good sign.

Miami by 3. 5:15 left in the game. Rondo brings it to one on a driving layup. Wade answers. Wade has been taking advantage of Boston throughout the series as the old guys tire in the second half. Rondo answers back, proving that not ALL of the Celtics are old – that was on a tip in of his own miss. Haslem commits a… a… a… Miami FOUL fighting for an offensive board! Rondo misses a j on the ensuing possession. KG blocks Bron and then hits a baseline jumper to put the Celts up 1! Let’s call the game here. Mercy rule? Oh, what’s this? Tech on Chalmers? How ’bout that? Okay, Allen shoots the tech, and then we can call it on the mercy rule.

Peter’s “Grind My Gears” is on Family Guy tonight… Sorry Ninja Warrior, you’ve been displaced. Maybe be a little funnier next time.

Friggin’ Chalmers hits a friggin’ three off the friggin’ time out. Pietrus answers! Boston by 2. Frig you Miami, you terrified little child’s team! Wade hits an impossible bank shot to tie it. He and Bron are so unbelievable. I’m a Jordan fan and even I can’t believe some of the shots they hit in the paint. Pierce draws a foul on a run out. Boston +2 with 1:30 remaining. James misses a 3. Wade leaps in from way out. Falls down. Mystery foul called on Boston. I defy you to tell me who that foul is on. Haslem 1 of 2 at the line. Boston up 1 with a minute remaining. Pierce drains a 3 from about 26 feet out! UP YOURS LEBRON. UP YOURS MIAMI. UP YOURS REFS. UP YOURS EVERYBODY. Boston up 4.

Bron in post. Kick out to Battier, swing to Chalmers, missed three pointer. Haslem hits it out of bounds. Refs award the ball to Miami but take a look at it. If they don’t overturn it, the homejob needs a new name, like the homescrewjob. Nope! Reversal! Justice! Sweet, juicy justice! Boston up 4 with 40 seconds left and the ball in hand. Rondo misses a jumper and Wade does his patented not even facing the basket run into Pierce with the OBVIOUS offensive foul that of course is called against Pierce so Wade goes to the line the Paul gets his 5th foul. I HATE this game. Once, just one time, in this series I want that called fair. Wade is nowhere near as good as Kobe. He just throws himself at the defense and hopes. I’m sliding him back below Jerry West, and I’m going to have to review Clyde Drexler’s career too. In my top 50 list, Wade may have dropped from 3rd best SG to 5th best SG all-time due to this one series. Make a real play if you’re great, not an offensive foul with no hope of making a bucket where the lemming refs bail you out with a whistle they don’t even understand why they blew. I need a stronger whiskey. I’m thinking something sold by Exxon or BP.

Ray Allen makes two free throws to erase Wade’s complete BS. James immediately answers with a quick layup. Two point game. Doc calls a time out. 9.4 seconds left. KG fouled over the back on the inbound. 8.8 remaining. KG has 24 and 10 tonight. Makes the first (25 and 10 tonight). Boston by 3. Makes the 2nd (26 and 10 tonight). Boston by 4.

Wade, with a crossover step back three pointer, misses. Rebound to Garnett. Quick outlet to Dooling. Game over. Boston goes up 3-2 in this series. KG 26 and 11. Guess what? A road team won in this series… What does this mean? It means that Boston would have won this series tonight if Wade’s hack to Rondo’s face had been called in overtime of game 2. Yeah. I think, I don’t KNOW, but I THINK we got this series.

Thank you basketball gods for the performance of Kevin Garnett’s in tonight’s game. You are the way and the light (of basketball).

Stat-note: LeBron James had his 6th 30 point 10 rebound game of the playoffs. No other player has more than 1 (KD, Wade, and Pierce are the only others to have done it at all).

Stat-note 2: Rajon Rondo has passed Bob Cousy for the most all-time double figure assist games in Celtics playoff history with a grand total of 39.

Stat-note 3: Kevin Garnett leads all players in +/- for this playoffs (he has played 2 more games than 2nd place LeBron James). The next Celtic on the list is Avery Bradley. Think about that.

–All stats courtesy of

Oh, and I’d like to add: Don’t stop believing.


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10 Responses to “ECF 2012 Game 5 – Tequila / Sangria / Whiskey Post”

  1. High Above Courtside Says:


    I’m glad you didn’t pass out before the end of the game. I did.

  2. jpalumbo Says:

    Semi-live blogging does a good job keeping me awake.

  3. pmadavi Says:

    I am shocked! Two road teams taking game five in the CFs! Mad props to Boston for pulling that one out (may they choke twice in a row).

  4. boyer Says:

    Just quick notes. You complained about Young leaning into Pierce int the 2nd round. Pierce was leaning as Wade ran him over. Shouldn’t it be a block then? I thought it was a charge, personally. However, Pierce got away at least twice, I think, with charge with his heel in the restricted area, and I wasn’t even sure he was set for those, but I think the heat got away with some of these same types of calls. Very hard calls to make, and especially when only maybe part of the heel is in the restricted area.

    But, great win for the c’s.

    • jpalumbo Says:

      To be honest, I wasn’t in any position to be even vaguely objective in assessing calls last night. You have the floor on this one! My thing with the way Wade keeps getting to the line on these blocking calls is that he’s not trying to make a play. He’s just doing a leaping spin with his back to the defender like a tight end trying to protect the ball from an oncoming safety. If Pierce didn’t happen to be standing there, what would happen? A travel?

      • boyer Says:

        I think the officiating was much better last night. Wade should’ve been given a charge call on that last one with Pierce, but whatever, there were missed block/charge calls both ways. I thought it was at least fair, and overall pretty good officiating. I was also surprised that Wade was called for the reach in foul on KG. He didn’t hit him hard at all, but it has to be called, good call. I love how JVG called out chalmers and maybe wade for complaining about obvious foul calls. I hate that, too. And nearly every player does it at some pt., but sometimes it’s just utterly ridiculous, needs to stop.

  5. boyer Says:

    Where is lebron is crunch time over these past few games? He’s not really active or doing much. Weird. I love the mindset of Pierce, which is similar to Kobe’s. He’s having an awful shooting game, but he’s going to keep on attacking, and finding other ways to help his team win, and then he’s not going to shy away from the big moment. That 3 in lebron’s eyes was an amazing shot.

    I don’t quite understand the travel call on bass, and somebody did this in the spurs/thunder game as well, and they called, incorrectly in my mind. And then bass gets a T for spiking the ball, huh? Wade does this all the time, and earlier in game 5, he spiked the ball and it went into the crowd, isn’t that an automatic T? This was inconsistent, but at least Chalmers missed the FT.

    Friedman has a great article today, check it out:

  6. pmadavi Says:

    I can’t believe the % of plays where LeBron is just standing while Wade dribbles around against two defenders. Plus they bring the screen way out with a guy that can’t shoot threes. That doesn’t help. When they go iso, they play completely into Boston’s hands. It baffles me they haven’t figured this out. LeBron and Wade need to be active in creating plays for each other, and there are crucial times in the 4th quarter where they revert to iso and generally botch the whole thing up.

    • boyer Says:

      If it comes down to halfcourt offense, miami is in trouble. Lebron and wade have yet to fully understand how to correctly run a halfcourt given their talent levels. Also, both of their lack of perimeter shooting really hurts. If it was kobe/james, or kobe/wade, or pierce/wade, or something like this, then kobe or pierce could spot up and be deadly spot-up shooters, but james and wade aren’t this. Also, kobe or pierce know how to move without the ball in a halfcourt offense very well, unlike wade and james. James and wade’s lack of a complete skill set does hurt them during crunch time. And while wade doesn’t shy away from the big shots like james often does, wade isn’t particularly good at making these types of shots.

      When it’s last possession, you almost have to go iso, in order to control the clock. But, james or wade need to drive aggressively, draw the defense, and then kick out to chalmers or battier probably. This is why bosh is so valuable, not just because he’s a top 10-15 player in the nba, but because he’s a good midrange shooter. If boston keeps it close, advantage boston. Miami is great at being frontrunners and dominating weak teams, but lebron and wade both thought this would be easy, and it’s not. Wade should know better as he won in 06, and then did nothing for 4 years, as Friedman correctly points out.

  7. High Above Courtside Says:


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